Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
