there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
