I want to stick my p in your. b.
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Randomize
