He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
