I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
