Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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