i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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