dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
