is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
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