What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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