He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
