i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
