he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
