I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize
