don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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