That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize