I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
i would one night stand the shit outta him
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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