it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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