It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
