do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
