Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
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