CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
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