:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I party with great urgency now.
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