I hate your face
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
