I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
i drank out of a bidet.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
