Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I love you. Go after that dick
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
