My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I puked a lego.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
