I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
