i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
