I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
