Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize