Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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