I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
