i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
