I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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