You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
