Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
