youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
