Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
