She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize