I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
