you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I think I just sharted jello shots
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
