I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
