Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
