It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
