Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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