4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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