turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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