i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
