i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
