I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize