I want to make a zoo with you.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
