His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Then you guys just all showered together...?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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