Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
