the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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