Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
