I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
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