wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize