There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize