guys are not supposed to queef...right?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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